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Would you marry someone who was not a virgin?

Like a virgin – For centuries, across cultures, virginity has been equated with goodness and virtue. The act of “saving” yourself for the one you marry was a testament to your character and good upbringing.

As time went on, the premium placed on virginity reduced. Today, most of the western world does not consider virginity an important trait in a partner and having sex before marriage is perfectly acceptable, and often, even expected.

Remember “The 40-year-old virgin”, a movie about a man who was 40, and horrors of horrors, a virgin?

Imagine trying to make that movie in India. Safe to say, it would probably not have gotten as many laughs here.

Virginity in India

Ours is a country that still values it’s purity and likes its young men and women to be untouched before they get married. There are mothers-in-law who excel in the art of conducting the “virginity test” – a spot examination that includes going into the bedroom of a newlywed couple the morning after their first night together and checking for blood stains on the bed sheets – stains that were purportedly left by the torn hymen of a virginal bride.

Of course, now, things are changing. Sex between unmarried couples is on the rise and many Indian metros are seeing men and women opting to live-in together without the bond of holy matrimony. Even amongst those who are open to sex before marriage, attitudes vary wildly – from those who see it as an expression of true and undying love to others who view it as a recreational activity between two consenting adults.

And then there are those who draw a line between ‘fun’ and ‘marriage’. Men and women (mostly men) who believe that while it’s all right to sow your wild oats and all that, when it comes to marriage, only a virgin will do.

So would you marry a non-virgin?

We asked a few people on their views on the subject. Would they marry someone who they knew for sure was not a virgin?

The reactions we got revealed a mostly sexually-liberated lot.

Who cares!

For some of those we interviewed, their partners’ sexual past was inconsequential. Like one young man said, “If she’s a virgin, good for her. If she’s not, good for her. It wouldn’t matter anyway.”

I wouldn’t marry a virgin!

One young man categorically stated that he would not marry someone who was a virgin. The idea of being his partner’s first and only sexual partner didn’t appeal to him in the least.

Another girl laughed at the thought of marrying a virgin. To her, sexual experience would make things easier for the couple.

And then there was the young lady who reckoned that she’d probably get married around the age of 30. And the idea of marrying a 30 something male who was a virgin sent her into a fit of giggles.

So where do you stand on the subject and marriage and virginity? Tell us in the comments section.

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